well…not really ‘goodbye’. more of a ‘we’ve moved.’

while i will continue to use this site for more personal (read, ‘family-related’) posts, my mad bloggin’ skillz are on display for the world to see at my examiner.com page, where i’m featured as a national pop culture blogger.

come on over…and feel free to subscribe, spread the word, and/or follow me on twitter.

seacrest out.

Hopefully at least some of you are watching ABC’s latest comedy Better Off Ted, Wednesday nights at 8:30 p.m., right before Lost.

If not, you’re missing what’s probably the funniest show on television since Arrested Development. In fact it stars Portia de Rossi, last seen as Lindsay Bluth on, yes, Arrested Development.

ABC describes Better Off Ted as, “a satirical office comedy about successful good guy, Ted, who runs research and development at the morally questionable Veridian Dynamics. Need cow-less meat grown in a test tube? Done. Need pumpkins that also double as weapons of mass destruction? No problem.”

Better Off Ted is, simply, hilarious, and one of the highlights each week is the Veridian Dynamics ‘ad’ that airs during the first commercial break. Unfortunately, due to Obama’s news conference, there was no episode this week.

But that didn’t stop the ‘folks’ at Veridian Dynamics from still putting together their weekly ‘ad’.

If you just chuckled a little bit, hop on board. It’ll only cost you a half-hour of your time, and this week’s episode (on TUESDAY night at 8:30) is the season finale…but don’t worry, there have only been six episodes– it’s not like I’m asking you to start watching Lost in the middle of the 4th season.

Seriously, it’s funny.

You may just thank me later.

…assuming ABC decides to keep it for the fall schedule

…which they may not.

But I hope they do.

…because that would be good.

Remember Bluestar Airlines? How about Bud Fox? Okay, how about, ‘How many yachts can you water ski behind?’

How about…Gordon Gekko?

Well, he’s coming back. Get ready for Wall Street 2.

Yes, I’m serious.

Rumored to be in the works since 2007, it’s now been confirmed that Oliver Stone and Michael Douglas are re-teaming for a sequel to the 1987 tale of corporate greed. Somehow it seems fitting, no?

According to Variety, “The sequel will once again involve a young Wall Street trader, and the recent economic meltdown spurred by rampant greed and corruption will fit prominently into the plot.”

Really. I’m not making this up.

Now I’m sure at least a few of you are (a) rolling your eyes, (b) crying, ‘Why, God? Why?’, or (c) lamenting (yet again) the fact that Oliver Stone is still making films.

But I think this could be good…and I’ll be one of the first in line to see it.

You see, I like sequels (with the exception of Weekend at Bernie’s II). I like the familiarity with the characters. I like the continuation of the story. I like seeing what happens next.

I hopped off the Oliver Stone train around the time Nixon came out, but I’m a big fan of Platoon, Natural Born Killers, Talk Radio, and The Doors. And I think Wall Street is the best movie he’s made.

This time, I think, we’ll be glad that Stone didn’t just leave well enough alone.

Dear Santa,

I know it’s only April, so I’m either 4 months late or 8 months early…but I could really use your help on this one.

You see…I’m a TV guy. But I’m a picky TV guy. For me to watch a show regularly, it has to be really good.

My beloved Amazing Race has already been saved. (Not sure if you had a hand in that or not, but yay! if you did…) However, my other true love (besides my wife…and my children…and lime Slurpees) needs a little help.

His name is Chuck.

I’m sure I’m not the first one to write to you about this– the whole ‘Save Chuck’ campaign is starting to make D-Day look like a polite disagreement, but I thought I should write to you nonetheless.

The show is simply that good.

And tonight (at 8 p.m., 7 p.m. Central, on NBC– check your local listings) is its second season finale. But it may also (dare I speak it?) be the series finale, too.

Now, the way I see it– it’s April. What else could you possibly have going on? I know you don’t starting getting things ramped up again until after the 4th of July…

So really quickly, here’s two solid reasons why Chuck (to allude to one of its great characters) is awesome.

1.) It’s entertaining. It’s funny. It’s hip. It’s action-packed. It’s romantic. In a nutshell? Tech geek ‘accidentally’ gets all the data from the U.S. government mainframe implanted into his head. Real computer gets destroyed. Chuck is last hope for security of the nation. CIA/NSA sends handlers to protect him. He falls in love with one of them (the attractive blonde, not the surly brunet), and he also has to deal with his day job at the local Buy More big box store…and his co-workers, The ‘Buy-Morons’. Sounds pretty darn entertaining, am I right?

2.) It’s bringin’ back the 80’s: From Chuck trying to save the world by beating the high score on a Missile Command arcade game, set to the melodious bars of Rush’s ‘Tom Sawyer’, to his surviving his co-workers garage band as they hiccup their way through the ever-awesome ‘Africa’ by Toto, to the resurrection of Sgt. Al Powell (remember Reginald VelJohnson from Die Hard?), it’s chock-full of fun 80’s stuff. And you’re a big fan of the 80s, right? I still have that Rubik’s cube you gave me in ‘83, after all…

I could go on and on, but I’ve already taken up too much of your time.

So…anything you could do would be a big help. At the very least, maybe you and the missus could gather round the tube tonight and treat the elves to a little high-quality TV with their Subway $5 footlongs? That should help boost the ratings a little bit.

In return, I promise I’ll never tell my kids that you’re not real…

Thanks!

-Collin

Jay Leno is out of the hospital and, presumably, not spending much time writing new jokes for his return to the airwaves Monday night. Does he ever?

My hunch? He finally realized he wasn’t funny and checked himself in to battle his resulting depression. When doctors, though, shared the grim news that he would never recover, he decided to go home.

Seriously– how can this be man be America’s favorite TV personality? Since 1995 (the famous Hugh Grant ‘What were you thinking?’ interview), he has dominated Letterman in the ratings.

Sporadically I try to watch…only sporadically, though–like when I fall down the stairs and conk my head, or when I’ve had 20 or 30 salmonella-tainted raw oysters.

The monologue? It’s like watching Al Gore at the ‘00 debates.

‘Jaywalking’? Hey– let’s make fun of stupid people!

Yes, I’ll give you ‘Headlines’– but that’s not Jay. It’s stuff other people send in. My black sheep cousin Luther could make those funny.

And now he’s coming to primetime, every night at 10 p.m… and, in the process, putting my favorite NBC show, Chuck, in jeopardy. (There’s only so much room on the NBC slate. Something’s gotta give.)

And if Chuck gets canceled, I’ll give Jay a real reason to go to the hospital. Yep, I’ll be comin’ for you, un-funny man!

So…Susan Boyle went and got herself a makeover. Egad.

The Britain’s Got Talent contestant (subject of my last blog post, too) had been thumped in the press for being ‘frumpy’. So– a little hair dye, a little eyebrow pluck, and a nice new burberry scarf. Poof! She looks like she could almost be Lindsay Lohan’s mother…in-law’’s…cousin.

And now she’s getting pounded for ’selling out’. Seriously?

Let me give you 3 reasons why I’m perfectly fine with Ms. Boyle’s makeover:

First — Don’t all of us (well, most of us) wake up every morning and take a shower, comb our hair, and put on some nice clothes to go to work? Hell, even I’ve been known to trim the nose hairs from time-to-time. It’s not as if she’s pumping herself full of BoTox. She just wants to look, well, nice.

Second– I’ll admit she’s a cute story, but even when I watched her performance on YouTube, I was more entertained by the reaction from judges Simon, Piers, and Amanda than I was by Susan’s singing. The twist was the fact that this frumpy (there’s that word again…) woman could rival her idol Elaine Page. It was about her singing ability vs. her physical appearance. Now, though, the element of surprise is gone, and it’s just about her voice.

Third– England’s done some crazy things (see The American Revolution) but I don’t think even that silly little country is ever going to give the un-frumped Ms. Boyle a record contract or book her for the Reading Festival anytime soon. She may sing ‘God Save the Queen’ before an upcoming Tottenham match, but that’s about as far as this goes. This is not the end of the world.

Now, if you’ll excuse me I’m going to get back to The Real Housewives of Orange County on Bravo.

In what industry insiders are calling a ’shocking case of fraud’, Britain’s Got Talent contestant and overnight YouTube darling Susan Boyle is being investigated for lip-synching her performance of ‘I Dreamed a Dream’.

‘We are looking into reports that the actual singer is April Toohot,’ said Jes Jokin, associate director of Ofcom, the UK’s equivalent of the FCC. ‘And until we reach a judgment, Ms. Boyle has been disqualified from the competition.’

Toohot, the Indonesian supermodel and multi-platinum singer, is currently in Bali shooting a swimsuit layout for a popular sports periodical. She could not be reached for comment, but her agent and attorney Carl Yerbluff released a written statement late this afternoon.

‘Any assertion that my client, Miss Toohot, is the actual singer is preposterous,’ the statement read in part. ‘And any implication that she is in any way associated with that frumpy, Scottish lump of Shepherd’s Pie is ridiculous and unfounded. Miss Toohot has an amazing voice, and she would not waste that talent on such a pedestrian carnival of mediocrity such as Britain’s Got Talent.’

Some in the entertainment industry, however, have their doubts.

‘My sense is that we have a reverse Milli Vanilli happening here,’ said Mark Miwords, editor at the tabloid website TMZ.com and frequent contributor to TheSuperficial.com. ‘My gut feeling is that the producers of the show thought the audience would be intimidated by someone as beautiful as Miss Toohot. And I have sources that tell me that is precisely when one of the talent coordinators suggested his great aunt, Ms. Boyle, as a stand-in for the show.’

A co-producer of the talent competition, speaking on condition of anonymity, declined to deny the allegations. ‘Not that we didn’t or did approve or turn down the offer that may or may not have come from one of the staff, I just think we may be putting the cart before the horse and letting it out of the barn before the eggs are hatched and counted.’

Miss Toohot’s latest album, April Sings Famous Broadway Showtunes, hits stores tomorrow.

Sometimes you trip on great music when you’re least expecting it.

These days my iPod is dominated by music from, of all places, the NBC show Chuck and from the CW show 90210. The former is a great show with great music (80’s classics and solid indies). The latter is a crappy show with great music (top 40 hits and great alternative tunes).

And then there’s Guitar Hero. I’ve been solidly on board the GH bandwagon since v.2. I’m now wrapping up GH:World Tour (on ‘hard’, no less), and while I do enjoy the game, the music (by and large) isn’t my cup o’ tea. It’s just a wee bit too ‘metal’ for me.

Except for Lacuna Coil, whose ‘Our Truth’ is one of the GH highlights.

Their next album, Shallow Life, hits stores Tuesday. And it’s good.

Yes, they’re metal (gothic metal at that), but there’s just something I dig about them. I cordially invite you to hit their myspace page to hear for yourself. (I suggest starting with ‘I Survive’ and ‘I’m Not Afraid’). Yes, they’ve dropped much of the ‘edge’ that they started with (and it’s cost them a good number of fans, too), but that loss is my gain.

Lacuna’s music is actually melodic and driving, not loud, annoying, rhythmic noise…so think more along the lines of Linkin’ Park, not Megadeth. And their lead singer, Cristina Scabbia, is of the female persuasion, so throw in a little Evanescence for good measure.

I know it’s not for everyone, but if you like your music a little on the hard side, give ‘em a listen. You may just thank me later.

After all, when’s the last time you heard a ‘catchy’ hard rock song?

Yes, I still call them ‘albums.’ Even if they’re actually CDs recorded by a group whose members weren’t yet alive when the first commercial CDs were pressed (somewhere between 1982 and 1985, depending who you believe).

I still own several (though my parents own quite a few more, including The Beatles, Johnny Mathis, and Elvis), but I’ll admit I haven’t actually bought a 12″ piece of vinyl anytime in recent memory.

Tomorrow, though, that may just change, as the U.S. celebrates the annual Record Store Day in more than 700 indie record stores across the country.

I can still vividly recall culling together all my lawn-mowing money and heading to the now-defunct Band Box Records in my hometown of Williamsburg, VA, to get the latest from (among others) Hall and Oates, Queen, Bruce Hornsby, and Men at Work. To me there’s nothing quite like flipping through stacks of shrink-wrapped albums.

Don’t get me wrong, I love me my CDs, but I’m also a wee bit nostalgic– which is essentially the thought behind Record Store Day. According to the official website, it’s a “celebration of the unique culture surrounding over 700 independently owned record stores in the USA, and hundreds of similar stores internationally. This is the one day that all of the independently owned record stores come together with artists to celebrate the art of music.”

So if you get a chance, visit your local indie record store tomorrow (here’s a full list). Better yet, buy one of the many limited edition vinyl releases from any of the dozens of participating artists (from Bruce to Depeche Mode to Regina Spektor).

And if you don’t get the chance, just take a little ’spin’ down memory lane. And the next time you’re lookin’ to buy a new album, bypass iTunes or torrents and go shopping…like you used to in the ‘old days.’

Color me giddy.

I’m a TV guy. Have been for as long as I can remember. Not so much the angst-ridden CSI/Law&Order/Cold Case ilk. And I’m male, so that pretty much rules out the Grey’s Anatomy/Desperate Housewives/Bachelor genre.

But anything that’s even remotely humorous (Chuck, Psych, Burn Notice, Better Off Ted, The Office, etc.) I’m there.

And then there’s The Amazing Race.

My name is Collin Parker, and I’m an Amazing Race-aholic.

…which brings me to my giddiness.

I woke up this morning to the news that CBS is bringing it back for a 15th season.

No, I never really doubted that it wouldn’t be back, but the validation is certainly nice.

There’s a reason that it has won every ‘Outstanding Reality-Competition Program’ primetime Emmy since the award began in 2003. Yes, every year. Six straight. Not American Idol. Not Survivor. No, not even Top Chef.

The Amazing Race is, flat-out, no question, the best ‘reality’ show on TV.

If you’ve never watched– you must.

If you do watch– back me up.

If you used to watch– you must come back.

Why? Glad you asked.

First– it’s the closest we’re ever going to come to visiting many of these destinations. Phuket, Siberia, and Salzburg are just a few of the locales that teams have visited… this season alone.

Second– it’s got the best ‘host’ of any show on TV. Sorry, Jeff Probst, you shouldn’t even be allowed to walk on the same sidewalk as my man Phil Keoghan. Ryan Seacrest? Please. Howie Mandel? Phil’s gonna open the case…of whoopass!

Third– the contestants. It’s not one person sitting there trying to see if he/she is smarter than a 5th grader. It’s eleven teams of two (mothers/sons, married couples, friends, co-workers, etc.) and the casting directors have the uncanny ability of picking excellent teams each and every time. Everyone who watches has a favorite and a least favorite…and you never forget many of them. Remember the volatile Colin and Christie? How about the pesky Charla and Mirna? And the awesome Chip and Kim?

So, if you want to hop on board, it’s not too late. Check it out Sunday nights at 8pm EDT on CBS. There are 5 teams left, and they’ll start the leg heading out from Bangkok.

Or come join the fun when season 15 starts this fall.

Either way– you won’t be disappointed. There won’t be anyone dancing with any stars.